how do u kno
when to let go of all the feelings?
good and bad
how do u kno
when its time to throw in the towel?
people i c everyday
but still the faces seem unfamiliar
their touch unknown
and their voices...mysterious
u always lose the ones u love
and each time its harder to move on
tragedy and chaos cloud your life
hiding the good things and
sending u down the wrong path
y cant we just get things right the first time
and skip the long road and mistakes?
we know what we want
but its so hard to get
and once we get it
its hard to throw away
the things we know
and the thing we're taught
never seem to coincide
but still we listen to what others say
and hope that
THIS TIME
things will be different
THIS TIME
i'll have it my way
so if we're so confident and ready
y does everything crumble beneath us?
just 2 have us start all over again?
seems a little pointless now....
doesnt it?Current Mood:  blank Current Music: Dead Silence |
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Change
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Feb. 18th, 2005 @ 11:59 am
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everything is changing
everyday brings something new
none of us can stop it
no matter how hard we try
so we watch
and we wait
we dont know where we're gonna end up
all we know is that everything is already decided
predetermined.
do we accept it?
should we accept it?
it seems like the only thing we CAN do.Current Mood:  curious |
Last night, my poor little fish Skeeter, (Skeet for short), went to that big fish bowl in the sky. My Uncle says that he was sick when i bought him because he had little white dots on his body, but my brother and Marcus said that I killed him. I wasnt with my mom when she bought him so I didnt know that he was sick. I will miss my baby Skeet, but i know that he is in a better place.
R.I.P. Skeet: January 15, 2005 - January 23, 2005.
But to new news....
Snow days suck. Especailly when you cant get out of the house and u do the same thing you did the other days over the weekend. NOTHING!!!!!!! Just be bored and wait for time to pass and something to do. But you never find anything to do. Plus it threw off the whole testing week thing. And it's supposed 2 snow again on Wednesday, possibly throwing us off another day. Just great. I was just fine with having off on Friday, but not anymore i guess. All i know is if i get stuck in this house another day I'm going to shrivel up from boredom and DIE....just like Skeet.
Well I'm gonna get something to eat because i'm bored and starving and there is nothing else to do. I finally figured out how people get so fat. I need to be careful. lol. Love ya guys. Keep postin and letting me know how your doing.
~DeeCurrent Mood:  crushed Current Music: Frankie J Feat. Baby Bash - Obsession |
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Jan. 17th, 2005 @ 03:49 pm
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aight.... i think i've figured it out. after watchin everyone's different reactions and relating their different situations with mine, i've come to find out why "love" is screwing all of us girls and some dudes up. okay....here it goes.
we're all tryin to find love which is why when we find something even remotely good we're not satisfied. we cant just settle for "like" and let it evolve from there. we want everyone we care about to care back with an honest emotion that they came up with in the first place. then if we do find what we call "love" we get scared and we dont want to accept it. we're afraid that if we actually answer to it we'll lose it thus having no other reason to live and too scared to ever "love" again.
can we even define love and once you find the definition tell me why we're so hung up on this one emotion when there are so many other feelings out there to explore.
right now....this love shit is screwin up everybody's mind and its makin us all dumb and intolerable. when did this "love" bug start takin over anyway. i mean i kno I didnt care about this shit last year so why all of a sudden is it so damn important?
im not sayin that you shouldnt have to work towards something you want but it shouldnt make you want to kill yourself everytime you THINK your "in love". plus stop thinkin about movie love because no matter how many times you watch a love story and you memorize the lines and you pretend like your the person in the movie....real life will most likely NEVER happen that way. so dont stay hung up on your supposed 2 find love in high school and your prince in shining armor will take you away and you'll both live happily ever after, because than likely that wont happen. i mean you can dream..cuz trust me I do all the time...but sometimes you gotta get bak to reality.
so just think things through before you decide to say you "love" someone or you NEED a boyfriend (or girlfriend) because if its meant to happen...it will. last time i asked about fate and most of you guys said you agreed wit it so im sayin now....dont rush fate. things will happen when the time is right.
i'm gonna try to take MY advice here to and i just wanted 2 get this down and give u guys somethin 2 think about. cuz all this shit i wrote about IM goin thro too...i mean im not dr. phil...lol. i love you guys with all my heart.
~Dee |
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Hmm...
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Jan. 12th, 2005 @ 08:59 pm
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Why do people always state their opinion and SAY that they are open minded, but when another person tells their feelings the first person tell them they are wrong and stupid for thinking that way?
New York was alright. Mrs. Chase hyped it up a little too much though but that is okay.
4 day weekend....YES!!!!!....hopefully i'll get 2 chill wit my friends and not have 2 stay inside all weekend. i'm gettin a fish tho i kno dat...cuz my mom is helpin set up for my cousin's baby shower and some ppl get fish. hahaha. can't wait. it's gonna b a pretty blue too.
is it just me or are you guys tired of highschool yet 2? i cant wait until spring break so i can go back 2 disney world. im tired of jackson in general...lol. i'm sure im not the only one on THAT one. hahaha.
~Dee
P.S. - who else is tired of tryin 2 figure out this "love" thing?Current Mood: curious Current Music: Perfect Man - Destiny's Child |
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yo i wrote a poem but i'm not sure if i should put it in here. i dont wanna let everyone read it cuz i neva let a lot of ppl read my stuff. the poem is meant 4 one person in particular to read but i dont know if i want them 2 read it on the live journal or 4 me 2 be there wit them. if you think i should write it here....let me kno. if not let me kno....thanks for your help guys
on a lighter note.....dah dance club did the half time show and we got compliments.
OMG tho the last shot was amazin. dat dunk. WOOOOOHHHH. toooooo nice for words.
I still gotta start miss silverman's shit and its thursday night...AHHHH...(*home alone face*) betta start workin soon.
Cant wait till next weekend when i see all u guys again. it's gonna be heaven on earth. i miss all our shit man. damn.
aight im bout 2 study 4 da vocab shit so imma ttyl lata. i love you all. mwah.....hugs and kisses. goodnight sexy ones
~Dee
Jan. 6th, 2005 @ 09:45 pm
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| » Think about it..... |
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Slow motion boogy...
What does that mean to you?
~Dee
Jan. 1st, 2005 @ 09:55 pm
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| » Da Tripod |
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I'm chillin wit the tripod tomorrow. i can't wait. now we can stand.....hahahaha!!!!!!!! time to start new memories and reminisce the old ones. i give u guys permission 2 slap me if i talk about peter pan 2 much but dont get mad because i might bring the movie too so that hanh can see it. and hanh we can watch a movie wit ur old guy in it...whats his name....bruce willis? lol. and sam u can see ur kieran culkin....i dont kno how 2 spell his name at all...lol sorry chica. cant wait till our ROAD TRIP....da tripod is reunited and we aint splitin up again. aight. im out. talk to ya'll later.
~Dee
P.S. - Jeremy is the SEXXXXIEST white boy i've eva seen. and if i eva become famous i will be meeting him. lol. i hope he aint a spoiled, stuck up, rich ass white boy cuz dat will shatter my whole image of him. but hey what can ya do. oh and when u guys realize how sexy he is...dont try 2 claim him 4 ur own cuz he's mine BITCHES....lol. bye guys.
P.S.S. - Sam....when is my deadline to beat the system? let me kno so i can work out some kind of plan...lol
Dec. 29th, 2004 @ 01:37 pm
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| » What Happened To Those Days? |
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I miss the three legs of the tripod and the electric six. I miss movie nights at Hanh's house and crawling through the doggy door. Sean's fat ass always getting stuck. lol. I miss me complaining that Hanh had no food, picking the movie to watch, then falling asleep on the couch while watching it. I miss Mozart, (the dog not the composer), eating me and Hanh and Sam not doing anything to save me but laughing in my face. I miss the laughter. What happened to the days when we used 2 go to movies together? What happened to the times when we'd all stay on the phone so late that our parents would yell at us. Remember how mad we were after seeing Teenage Drama Queen and finding out it was the WORST Lyndsay Lohan movie ever made? Remember Mean Girls "nigga please." Remember the constant flirting and the rule saying that i was not allowed to "mac on Eric?" Remember the friendship line? Do you remember the yearbooks and the promise we made never to split up in HS? Remember lying in Hanh's living room just talking about everything? Remember how close we used to be? What happened to all of those things we had? Why are they only a memory now and not happening on a daily basis? Why did HS screw us over? How could we let it happen. I miss Hanh. I miss Sam. I miss Eric. I miss Sean. Now that i think of it.....we were like a more politically correct breakfast club...the "interacial bunch" I miss my friends. I miss last year. I miss being happy.
~Dee
Dec. 24th, 2004 @ 02:27 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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my parents are gone for the whole entire week, but i'm too good to break the rules. hahaha. they are picking me and fatima up on friday and takin us to chill with them in the poconos though. they say this place has a lot of stuff for us to do, like manhunt, indoor pool, and all that good stuff. so i guess im spendin halloween in the poconos.
i keep screwin up and it seems lyk i cant get anything right. you know that i wouldnt hurt you on purpose but it seems lyk that is all i keep doing. wheneva i mess up u shun me, and yet when U do something wrong i forgive you. i dont know how this whole friendship is supposed 2 work, but it seems to me lyk its a lil screwed. but then again...maybe UR perfect and could neva make a mistake so there is no reason for me to be mad at you, or so U think.
im really startin to believe that growin apart is a part of growin up. i just wish that it wasnt happenin 2 us.
~Dee
Oct. 25th, 2004 @ 10:31 pm
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| » OMG |
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I DONT LIKE HIM ANYMORE!!!!!! can u believe that?!?!?! i'm so happy though because i wasted too much of my time thinkin bout him. last night was crazy and hard 2 explain...it had its good and bad points. im chillin wit Kristina dis weekend. YES!!! I havent seen my girl in such a long time. we're reunited and it feels so good. lol. i have nothin else to say so i'll talk to you guys later. the legs of the tripod will never fall. much love to you guys.
~Dee
p.s. i only did 3 gay things last night. hahahaha. hard 2 believe huh?
Oct. 9th, 2004 @ 10:25 am
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| » Help |
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I'm so scared. I have no idea what to do. Today went from something small and it just kept getting bigger. There was nothing any of us could do. I wish we could go back, just to fix what went wrong. Too bad life doesnt work that way. I hope everything works out for the better, and nothing but good things come out of it. I dont know who to talk to because i dont know what i would say. I dont want to start crying again, but i dont want to forget. I want to always be there to help, but life's a scary thing. I'm glad that we were all there for eachother today because I don't know what I would have done by myself.I just want everything to be okay.
~Dee
Oct. 6th, 2004 @ 02:48 pm
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| » Interesting |
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Try to explain THAT one
~Dee
Sep. 23rd, 2004 @ 03:03 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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I have no idea what to say. I don't think that there is anything going on in my life worth writing about so imma just say...damn i'm bored. high school is so independent that i can't take it. you know that i depend on the people around me, im not smart enough to work by myself. a lot of people are different now that we're in high school too and i dont like it. but maybe IM the one thats changing. i really dont know. and i still cant figure out why he's ignorin me. damn the man. imma go cuz i dont feel well i just wanted to make a new entry so that you guys know that im still alive. now that you know...i'm out
~Dee
Sep. 21st, 2004 @ 11:58 am
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| » I'm Sorry |
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I'm sorry I can't be what you want me to be
I'm sorry I'm not the perfect person
I'm sorry that I dont meet up to your HIGH standards
I'm sorry that I'm not calm enough for you
I'm sorry that I'm not crazy enough for you
I'm sorry that I'm not quiet enough for you
I'm sorry that I'm too loud for you
I'm sorry that I'm not black enough for you
I'm sorry that I'm not smart enough
I'm sorry that I don't like the things you like
I'm sorry that we don't get along
I'm sorry that we have nothing in common
I'm sorry that you are an asshole, pressed on how I SHOULD look and the way that I SHOULD act
I'm sorry that you're ingorant and blind to what REALLY matters
I'm sorry that I'm ME
Sep. 13th, 2004 @ 04:53 pm
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| » First Day Back Blues |
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Honestly, I think that I'm gonna like high school. There are a lot of new people to see and meet (Of course when I say "people" I mean guys) And the one guy is EVERYWHERE. He knows just how to mess with me and I think he does it just for the HELL of it. He knows I like him so he keeps playin with my emotions. Damn him. Anyway, school is school and the teachers are all...different. My gym teacher seems like a ditz, she's cool. Mrs. Chase.....any of you that have her know how she is for the rest of you.....TOTALLY different than Mrs. Doral's chorus. Mr. Schench a.k.a Mr. Off Topic/Mr. Soccer Coach/Mr. Useless Information. Hanh knows what I'm talking about. Then 4th period, Ms. Silverman. A lot of you guys have her. I haven't formed ANY opinion on her yet. Maybe you can help me out with that. I have no idea what to say because high school doesnt seem like THAT big a deal...to ME anyway. I thought high school was gonna be SOOOOO much different....like heaven. But it's still "JUST SCHOOL" right SHATONE! I'm just gonna play this year out and see what happens. Hopefully good things cuz im tired of gettin the bad shit thrown in my face. So good luck to everyone for this year and don't forget...we have another "first day of school"....a.k.a. SECOND SEMESTER!
~Dee
Sep. 3rd, 2004 @ 10:44 pm
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| » Hmm... |
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That IS Interesting!
Sep. 3rd, 2004 @ 03:14 pm
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| » Peace |
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I'm leaving tomorrow for Texas to go visit LaMonique. I can't wait, but at the same time I wish I wasn't going. Just my mom and I are going! I can't wait to see LaMonique. Hopefully there is something to do there. And hopefully I won't be in the sun too much...cuz Lord knows I don't need ANYMORE sunlight! I know Aaron and Marcus are gonna go crazy here with just my Dad. No rules....plus Aaron will have my Mom's car!! Oh Jesus... I will still try to call you guys while I'm gone...if my phone has service. I'm gonna miss all of you, and as soon as I get home, school will basically be started. I still gotta finish the damn Lord of the Flies and start The Pearl. Hopefully The Pearl doesn't suck. Lord of the Flies is getting better now that I'm at the end...interesting shit starts to happen at the end. Go figure! So goodbye to all of you for now. See you when I get back or when school starts. Enjoy the last two weeks of summer. It sucks that summer is almost over....but at the same time it's great. Summer starts to suck after a while, but then again so does school! You can't win! But anyway...bye guys....maybe I'll bump into Jessica and/or Christina from GVB! That would be hot! (Fat chance...but hot)! Okay I'm gonna end this novel and say Goodbye for real. See ya'll soon.
~Dee
Aug. 24th, 2004 @ 03:27 pm
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| » Missing You |
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Last Friday was the season finale of GVB (Girls Vs. Boys). It was the final competition. Boys with 1000 points...Girls 700. The final competition worth 500 points. The boys are 2/3 of the way through the challenge, then things go wrong. Girls, 1/3 of the way done, have time to catch up. The girls win, but it is a sad victory. Because the boys truly did have it. I wanted the girls to win, but it just seemed set up, rigged! Congrats to the girls and good job to the guys. Jessica, Dina, and Christina each go home $10,000 richer and with a back to school outfit from aeropostale. The last night, they reminised on the good times, cried over the bad, and laughed at the embarrasing moments. They even told about some things they regret having done. Leaving was hard and EVERYONE cried (even i shed a tear). Thinking back on the show, it seems like it would be hard to live with someone for three weeks, grow close to them, then just to leave not knowing if you will see any of them ever again. Especially since they come from ALL over America. I'm gonna miss turning to The-N every Friday night at 8:30 and watching Kris love Jessica, and Teri and Christina flirt incesently. Then watching Justin obsess over Lauren, (but he did go for the kiss in the end...GO JUSTIN)!! It made me mad that the ONLY guy that seemed to have a crush on Dina HAD a girlfriend... (Jake)!! I know no other season of GVB will ever be as good as this one and I'm gonna miss it. So peace to GVB, I'm gonna miss the show and watching you guys. Kris,Justin,Teri,and Jake...They were ALL SEXXXY! Wish I coulda been on GVB! Dina and Jessica...The truest of the girls.....Lauren...Crazy yet calm at the same time....and Christina....ditz and drama queen all the way....All of them were cool too! Aight well it's late I'm goin to bed. Sorry for writin bout my love for GVB but i'm truly gonna miss the show. Goodnight people and hope YOUR favorite show NEVER has a finale....cuz the GVB finale crushed me and I wasnt even on the show. Think of how sad THEY must have been! That sucks!
~Dee
Aug. 23rd, 2004 @ 10:06 pm
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| » Did You Ever |
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I wrote this July 29th, but I decided to make it my next entry.
Did you ever cry yourself to sleep
And have no idea why?
Did you ever hurt so badly inside
You wished you would die?
Did you ever love someone so much
But you weren't sure who that love was for?
Did you ever wish you could start a new life
By just walkin through an open door?
Did you ever look around a room
And imagine something more?
Did you ever count up your bad days
And compare them to your good?
Did you ever write down your feelings
When you were in a sucky mood?
Did you ever realize, the things you want most in life
You hardly ever get?
Did you ever wonder if things really do
Happen for a reason?
Did you ever wish
That you could be someone else?
Did you ever think, for one second,
That YOUR life is perfect?
Aug. 20th, 2004 @ 11:34 pm
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